i am grateful for:

1) d’s surgery going well, and that she has the spunk already to be annoyed with herself for not healing faster. i mean ultimately i wish for her patient self-love. but really, irritated impatience helps in hospitals. love you, girl.

2) buses with wi-fi

3) the coolness of urban river arts. great arts org in brooklyn founded by the bf’s sister. amazing fundraiser last night.

4) sprinkles. chocolate.

5) not getting completely drowned in the rain this morning

6) having multiple friends in europe right now. when to visit? hmmm…

7) synchronized texting

8) a late night snack of everything bagel, cream cheese, marilee’s tomato, and red onion

9) a/c

10) the urge to create

11) seeing so much sky this summer

12) interweaving lives. terrifying but/and good.

13) shakti

14) new towels that pass the absorbency test

15) trashy novels

16) a clean house

17) luff

18) beach towels in full use

19) sand on my apartment floor

20) that my iced coffee making skills are improving. next stop: iced coffee ice cubes for the iced coffee.

21) the little facebook details: sherry and the teacup dress she wants, nicole meeting ?uestlove, effie being irritated with all the pretty young smokers.

i am grateful for:

1) that wobbly, excited, scared feeling of impending adventure

2) being mainly ok with the book remaining in seed form for now

3) a writing buddy who whispers the universe’s wisdom to me all the way from paris

4) not pushing the river

5) meeting at the crossroads of misunderstanding, knee-jerk reaction, sweaty frustration, disorientation, love, and willingness, and walking toward home together, hand-in-hesitant-hand.

6) the way trying to understand actually peeks through my resistance to understanding anything other than my own understanding. hello, grown-up self. pull up a chair. have some tea.

7) the ping of incoming email

8) heirloom tomatoes drowned in olive oil and salt

9) seaweed

10) little sprouts of my teaching potential

11) people who keep journals

12) packing in an orderly way

13) valerie cherish in the comeback. lisa kudrow, you are a genius. where are you? when can i see more of your brilliance?

14) paperwork, done

15) books on anatomy. is it weird that i really want to see a cadaver? i’m not sure i wouldn’t pass out, but i love the idea of seeing how it all looks in there.

16) gourmet popsicles

i am grateful for…

1) the suggestion from b.c. that i switch from saying “unemployed” to “free.” it feels much, well, free-er.

2) iced coffee from milk bar

3) visiting a college friend’s farm in sagaponack and not only getting to see her, but also my other friend who happened to be visiting from chicago. i heart these magic coincidence treats. especially when accompanied by fresh, organic heirloom tomatoes.

4) morning sleep

5) beaches–soft rocks, sharp rocks, no rocks. all salty goodness.

6) conversations about the heart of a something that dance around nothing

7) waves of support for yoga teacher training. excited!

8) friends working on projects that nourish

9) funky pro kadima

10) a rediscovery of paddle sports in general

11) butterflies

12) looking at a picture and seeing the happiness in my face

13) new adventures (are there any old adventures?)

14) watching my brave, funny, great friend face cancer. sigh. fucking cancer.

15) the moon, all fullish

16) talking to paris

17) books. made from paper.

18) b.c. being cool about my eyes shut during most of “inception,” which i think they could have more accurately called “insipid.”

19) getting home after a hot day and drinking water and eating breyer’s and watching jon stewart on the sofa with my cool-skinned honey

20) watermelon

21) long island beer, potatoes, fruit, fish, water, and sun

wow! so much. i am grateful for:

1) massachusetts blueberries

2) surviving nine days of silence and meditation and no eye contact with my brain and mind and body intact

3) seeing hints of a shift: lighter eyes, more equanimity, an actual desire to meditate

4) not being in a cubicle

5) being accepted to yoga teacher training and that i get to do the one i’ve been wanting to do for about 15 years

6) having time to do yoga teacher training

7) holding steady to a new life direction

8) conway pond

9) tiny blue dragonflies hovering on the water

10) touch, especially after nine days of none

11) s.n. goenka

12) iphone photobooth apps

13) hot air balloons

14) hanging out with a tot just learning to speak, watching all those words accumulate and string together

15) not being alone with my mind right now

16) a cleaner fridge (i almost wanted to pet and nuzzle what i found in there just now.)

17) a new idea for an online magazine

18) summmmmmmmer!

19) reciprocation

20) home

21) love

22) the word “equanimous.” and how it rhymes with eponymous and hippopotamus.