Ode to Thanks

by Pablo Neruda

Thanks to the word that says thanks!
Thanks to thanks,
word
that melts
iron and snow!

The world is a threatening place
until
thanks
makes the rounds
from one pair of lips to another,
soft as a bright
feather
and sweet as a petal of sugar,
filling the mouth with its sound
or else a mumbled
whisper.
Life becomes human again:
it’s no longer an open window.
A bit of brightness
strikes into the forest,
and we can sing again beneath the leaves.
Thanks, you’re the medicine we take
to save us from
the bite of scorn.
Your light brightens the altar of harshness.

Or maybe
a tapestry
known
to far distant peoples.
Travelers
fan out
into the wilds,
and in the jungle
of strangers,
merci
rings out
while the hustling train
changes countries,
sweeping away borders,
then spasibo
clinging to pointy
volcanoes, to fire and freezing cold,
or danke, yes! and gracias, and
the world turns into a table:
a single word has wiped it clean,
plates and glasses gleam,
silverware tinkles,
and the tablecloth is as broad as a plain.

Thank you, thanks,
for going out and returning,
for rising up
and settling down.
We know, thanks,
that you don’t fill every space-
you’re only a word-
but
where your little petal
appears
the daggers of pride take cover,
and there’s a penny’s worth of smiles.

i am grateful for:

1) feeling grateful

2) beliefnet intern marysa sheren’s blog

3) this, from her blog:

The Final Analysis Prayer by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

4) filling out an application for a dream

5) bbq’d fish and fruit

6) friday, the day of laundry, cleaning, and rest

7) having a deadline today

8) not being on a subway today

9) coffee shops with wi-fi

10) support from bosses past

11) having a very planned day tomorrow

12) iced coffee

13) da love

14) how wearing a boyfriend’s sweatshirt feels like a sweet hug

15) allowing myself to feel the sweetness. and getting: the act of enjoying does not equal ruining, as some weird webby corner of my psyche seems to think. enjoying = joy. joy = one of the main things i’m pretty sure we’re here for.

16) “sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” -thich nhat hanh

17) my wood-burning hot tub injury healing well. if sorely.

18) weleda’s burn care ointment

i am grateful for:

1) freedom from cubicle-land

2) teeth

3) being in the catskills when i got the call, where they answer the phone, “hello, waterfall house”

4) woodburning hot tubs

5) waterfalls with world-class swimming holes

6) suma the cat

7) possibility

8) time

9) ideas

10) that independence day so closely coincides with my being laid off

11) teal toenails (not blue, but totally fun)

12) the amazing support i’ve gotten

13) making a list of all the things i’ve wanted to do for years and maybe actually getting a chance to do them

14) the notion of living less like waiting and more like diving into a fabulous meal

15) the preview for the smurfs movie, complete with tone loc soundtrack

16) love

17) planned lunches

18) hammocks

19) seeing birds: blue jays and hummingbirds and woodpeckers and a teeny tiny finch

20) safety despite feeling groundless

21) yoga every day

22) time to see/chat with all of you

i am grateful for:

1) having enough food

2) peacefully confronting the subway preacher who was trying to tell a bunch of little kids they were going to hell. and him leaving the car even though he wouldn’t look me in the eye.

3) getting away to trees

4) green juice

5) getting to work with so many cool people for so many years

6) sleeping bags

7) the garden at pure food and wine. red chaise, tree canopy, pretty people, yummy drinks.

8) heat

9) yoga on the great lawn. i wrote about it: http://blogs.yogajournal.com/ny09/2010/06

10) the two elenas in my life. the name means “light” and i have gotten so much of it from you both

11) having a place to crash in paris

12) b. getting his new iphone. iMazel tov, babe.

13) caught in a rainstorm, soaked through, home safe

14) chocolate covered raisins

i am grateful for:

1) water

2) sea shells

3) conversations that unearth the roots

4) making a yummy meal of farro, arugula pesto, farmer’s market greens, and salmon

5) the mouse in my house

6) this amazing blog post, “sneaky hate spiral”

7) midday nail salon backrubs

8) my magenta sofa

9) “out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. i’ll meet you there.” -rumi

10) sighing the stress away

i am grateful for:

1) a quiet weekend writing, sleeping, and gilmore-ing

2) hot pink fingernails

3) cool little brooklyn cafes with wifi

4) friends with yards

5) roasted beet salad

6) oxygen-based bleach powder. side-by-side comparison with clorox, and it wins, completely, no contest. i will spare you photos, but oxy-whatev = so good.

7) finding a newish yoga studio in my hood, with a teacher i’ve been wanting to take class with for ages.

8) feeling a surge of love and support just under my scratchy, needy surface.

9) om

10) this tuesday: yoga on the great lawn! they’re aiming for 10K to set a U.S. record. i’m guessing 1K. but excited to find out. and excited for elena to teach it. and all the awesome anusaris assisting!

11) that the suspense will be over soon. until there’s more, of course. that’s the thing about suspense. “hate, hate, hate!” “more, more, more please!”

12) finding little eddies within the fear. in showers and lavender oil and clean sheets.

13) reclaiming the mini-tramp! rebounding, as it were.

14) b. coming home tonight. boing!

15) rivers

16) streams, cricks, brooks, eddies

17) brave friends

18) sunshine on my keyboard

19) how happy the right shade of yellow is

20) brandi

21) all these ideas, bursting

22) having a pen

23) ice

24) pull-ups

25) non-hyper ventilation

i am grateful for:

1) having the day off tomorrow

2) how just one extra day makes it possible to recuperate

3) that there is a man in my living room watching the celtics while i am listening to my ipod’s “yog-a-rama” playlist. when the music gets soft between songs i can hear that weird crowd rush noise that is sports events that i have such an ingrained allergy to. but i’m grateful because it feels sweet. like, “what’s the nicest thing i can do for someone?” “offer them televised sporting events in my presence.” really makes me feel vaguely boddhisatvic. all that talk about generosity doesn’t mean anything unless it’s a sacrifice? i can actually feel that in my heart. giving something that i have resistance to giving actually makes my heart stretch a little. in an achy good way. which is a lot. and actually it’s so nice. shared together-separateness.

4) new york superfudge chunk. i gave in. i am glad.

5) the two nice grocers who dug through their bodega freezers looking for said superfudge. and then feeling sincerely badly that they couldn’t find it. it’s really a bummer i ended up giving my business to key foods.

6) rolling around on a tennis ball. holy massage, massageman.

7) all the blue toenails. right? new yorkers, look around. everyone has some sort of cloud, turquoise, cerulean, powder, royal, navy thing going on. where am i when they make these decisions? like the ray-bans. i totally missed the meeting. but no one else did. i swear it’s like a visual virus. but i do like the blue nails.

8) sheryl crow

9) martha beck, who writes for “o.” she’s self-helpy but really quite smart and thoughtful and i always get something i can use.

10) side ponytails

i am grateful for…

1) the first firefly of the season! on my block. lighting its little glow-butt at dusk on my walk home.

2) tinned mackarel

3) gilmore girls. the healing balm continues.

4) rory in a suit

5) painting hearts on my toenails

6) white flowers

7) stories about medical miracles, like in this week’s new york magazine

8) breathing

9) sleep

10) sweetness

i am grateful for:

1) the way my windows are now completely re-filled with green. a most luscious, dense foresty green that takes over the sky.

2) the movie “please give” with catherine keener. sad, smart, funny, poignant, if financially inaccurate/confusing. an apartment on lower fifth avenue + small business = no money concerns? hm. but incredible performances and one of the best opening sequences ever.

3) big juicy blueberries in pancakes

4) lots of heart chakra activity

5) that i’ll very likely have more time soon to see and talk to you all

6) sage

7) how breathing feels easier on weekends

8) j’s hot pink toes

9) b’s faint freckles

10) being taught by a yoga teacher the other night with a double hip replacement

11) getting out for weekends, soon

12) my odd, yet-unmet craving for new york superfudge chunk, inspired by subway ads

13) keeping up a british accent for an hour

14) incremental trust, like a micro-jenga

15) the goodness of the boy

16) the hope that the spill will change something for the good, somehow, eventually

17) cone and a cup, please

i am grateful for…

1) an assignment on gratitude. and interviewing people on gratitude–why it’s healthy and essential and good. reminds me to be grateful in a time when i feel like i have plenty to complain and worry about. but look! abundance. blessings. love. food. shelter. water. sky. coffee. clothes. watermelon popsicles.

2) being lovingly told how incredibly full of shit i am

3) lily of the valley drinking glasses from fish’s eddie

4) weekends

5) when people acknowledge reality. then i can relax. denial stresses me out. especially my own.

6) this computer

7) avocado for breakfast

8) eggplant parm made by a native italian

9) healthy, saucy pregnant women

10) tasks like: gratitude practice. loving my own heart. validating my own soul. freewriting. meditation.

11) sharing food

12) showering right before sleep

13) the birds i can hear in the tree that’s now green and bushy outside my window.

14) slow-coming summer. you coquette, summer. showing us some foot, ankle, leg, a little thigh…. and then–back to all covered up and cold. but you will reveal yourself in your full warmth soon enough, trickster. we see you.

15) the bottom of wanting (i like just wondering what’s there)

16) chocolate ganache sauce made by a city bakery baker

17) naps