i am grateful for…

1) harville hendrix and helen lakelly hunt’s imago work. and that i got to immerse in it.

2) may being really close meaning so is t-shirt weather (as opposed to 900-layers-just-in-case weather)

3) the breukelen coffee house in crown heights

4) actually making food and eating at home

5) sea salt dark chocolate

6) re-watching coupling with b.c.

7) that i get to see pema next month

8) breeeaaathing into the upcoming ct scan in three weeks. neurotic annual countdown: take 566.

9) starfish friends!

10) dining with m. and s.

11) souen’s cocoa parfait

12) counter culture coffee

13) saraswati showing up at cool moments

14) seeing a woman on the train last night with a prarie skirt and a red totebag i could only read part of: “follow your.” and that three hours later she was also on the same different train and i could read the whole thing: “follow your heart.” felt like it went in, plink, to my heart.

15) bob marley t-shirts for babies

16) clearing loads of clutter

17) the amazing lilacs at the brooklyn botanic garden.

18) literally applauding nature with j. lilac trees deserve applause. lots.

19) tulips that don’t look like any kind of tulip i’ve ever seen before.

20) luff

i am grateful for….

1) knowing i’m not the only one feeling agitated and shook up by the season change. in chinese medicine spring is represented by the element of wood, which correlates to the liver, which, when chi-clogged as most of ours are, leads to anger and frustration. i’m hoping this is why i am inexplicably jumping out of my skin this week.

2) that b.c. is healing really well. and that that makes me happy. it’s nice to be attached to another’s wellbeing, especially when it feels good. is that ok?

3) getting to see krishna das this week, even if it’s at webster hall, which the kd website has apologized for–it’s got no seating and the stage is raised, not exactly ideal for kirtan. so they’re encouraging people to bring pillows and blankets and have apologized for the inconvenience. i love that a gig at a venue other bands might kill for is something kirtanis feel compelled to apologize for.

4) the oddly satisfying feeling of writing run-on sentences. usually a sign i need some self-expressing.

5) elizabeth gilbert’s “committed.” i like it. i mean i see where she struggled and how it could be disappointing to people. but i love that it’s a little bit of a fuck you to the people who loved her book only for its happy romantic ending. it’s a poetic follow up in that way. it is also making me remember all the reasons i think marriage is a completely insane endeavor. and also one that could be worthwhile. but one we need to enter not just with hope and love, but some scholarly and spiritual and legal understandings about its fundaments.

6) spring cleaning. i’m hauling a bag a day on the subway with me to housing works, which is making me feel like i have to work for my purging, which is good.

7) sarasvati and the mantra i found for her, the hindu goddess of knowledge, music, literature, and the arts in general: “om eim (pronounced i’m) sarasvati svaha”

8) remembering to do something calming today when i thought i would seriously lose my shit in a full-on adult temper tantrum. i bought organic lavender oil at the health food store and the cashier said, “good for stress.” indeed.

9) eating at the gee whiz diner with s. last night. such a great greek salad! omelette! olive oil! and i bet they make a mean chocolate shake.

10) the feeling of warmth after putting wool tights on under my jeans today. spring chill is almost more chilling than winter. bone-reaching.

11) sturdy, handled shopping bags (when a reusable isn’t around, a course)

12) gum

13) when people have dreams about me

14) the color me katie blog

15) how meditating for five minutes between meetings (five hours of ‘em!) calmed me down like 15 notches

16) the word grace

17) holly’s garden

18) pending summer

19) the bitch yoga teacher not completely freaking when my cell phone went off in class. and then how not shame-spirally i got.

20) book hope

21) a calm core in chaos

22) sofa-snuggling

23) parsnips

24) dancing yoga with shiva rea at the bed stuy y–so random and beautiful and uplifting. to african drumming, no less.

25) feeling the fear and doing it anyway

26) how b.c. said to me, upon my kvetching, “meetings are your guru.” and i was like graaaahhhh! that’s exactly something i would say if i didn’t feel like throttling god. and so it was actually helpful, in the hurts so good sort of way. and they are. patience, listening, staying open when i want to shut down, staying present when i want to check out, being honest without being inflammatory, and other stuff i’m especially crappy at in an airless room with fluorescent lighting, no windows, no air, extreme temps, and equally cranky people. om.

i am grateful for…

1) facebook birthdays

2) the latest “modern family” episode because even tho i’m not getting one, i too was psyched to have my birthday coincide with the ipad release date

3) the “double dogs” zodi and ozark, outside of stogo, the vegan ice cream place, the other night

4) doing a park slope sunshine shopping day with my mom

5) that i can now say, without faking it, “oh, you can talk to my agent about that.” and “sorry, i’ve got to take this call, it’s from my agent,” just like miss piggy says in the muppet movie, but without the mel brooks-napping

6) “just kids,” patti smith’s memoir about her and robert mapplethorpe. so restrained, some gorgeous writing and a cool view into a world i’m a little obsessed with

7) health care passing

8) j.b.c.

9) a. getting me baked corn chips

10) the annex at kripalu

11) squiggling my way into pema

12) tom’s shoes–just ordered some birthday footwear that also happens to do some good

13) jennyfeet being freeeeee

14) my ladyfriends with the strong, brave hearts

15) 37 sun rotations of breath, life, safety, love, blessings, health

16) love

17) spring

18) the row of white blooming flower trees along park slope’s fifth avenue right now

19) pockets of peace

20) being an aries

21) injera bread

22) my writing buddy, starfish champion, creative co-cheerleader

23) long weekends

24) getting free from obsession, not the cologne but the snagged claw in my heart

25) opening to love, not the sculpture, but the joy in my heart

26) dharma yoga brooklyn, practicing in a fishbowl that hopefully inspires people

27) urdva danurasana (full wheel) with the wall and how gorgeously straight i can get my arms that way and how great it feels all over. human rainbow bliss

28)  j’s tear-inducing india pics–next time i’m coming with you, sistah

29) having more conversations that matter

30) slowly lining up who i want to be with who i am

31) apples

32) you, for reading

33) great blogs–swiss miss, yoga dork, etc.

34) b.b.

35) going to fancy dinner tonight

36) the notion that there’s something beyond compromise–that we don’t have to be a little bit unhappy to make each other not miserable. i need to study this further, but marshall rosenberg’s notion that we can be a lot happy when we all get our fundamental needs met, together

37) milk bar on vanderbilt–the coffee, the eggs, the avocado